As we get older our sexual desires, abilities, and patterns change. The changes can vary from person to person, however, it can be important to maintain a certain level of intimacy to stay close. In fact, it is healthy to appropriately express sexuality at all ages. The negative stereotypes placed on the aging process in society can often have harmful effects on intimacy. As we age, it can be helpful to continue educating ourselves on matters of sexuality as they relate to aging. Education works to eliminate stigmas around age and sexuality while also informing us how to best satisfy our intimate needs as they change over time. There are many different ways to be intimate, both alone or with a partner. Below we will discuss some ways to increase intimacy as you age. Get to Know and Accept Yourself
Intimacy may not be the same as when you were younger, but that doesn’t make it worse. Reap the benefits of your life experience. Now that you are older, it is likely you have a better sense of self. You probably now have a better understanding of what makes you excited or happy than you did in your younger years. Use this to your advantage and define what types of intimacy you personally would appreciate. Do not spend time dwelling on how your intimate life differs from when you were younger. Instead, keep a positive attitude and open mind to exploring your mature sexuality. It is also important to accept your changing body. Changes in physical appearance are natural and happen to everyone as they age, so keep your head high. This self-confidence can be empowering and sexy.
Exercise Your Emotional Intimacy by Communicating
Communication is key in any relationship. Being able to verbally discuss your needs and wants can help increase intimacy satisfaction. Emotional intimacy is about truly getting to know someone else. Asking questions about a person’s childhood, memories, their hopes and dreams can all increase emotional intimacy. Telling a person what you love about them is another great way to increase emotional intimacy. It is important to remember intimacy is not just about positive feelings, it is also about tapping into one’s vulnerabilities, fears, and negative experiences. Discussing feelings in a respectful, open, and caring way will certainly increase the emotional intimacy between two people. Creating a sense of emotional trust will, in turn, help open the door to discussing matters of sexual intimacy.
You may feel your generation was raised under the ideal that discussing feelings and emotions is taboo. This is far from the truth, and this barrier must be broken down to increase intimacy at any stage of life. If you or a partner find it hard to discuss your feelings, start by trying to utilize humor to make the situation more playful and lighthearted. In addition, always be honest. Honesty fosters trust and works to relax both parties.
Physical Touch
Sexual intimacy is much more than sex. Regardless of health problems or physical disabilities, you can benefit from increased intimacy through any form of touch. This could mean something as simple as a hug, hand holding, or a playful tickle. Don’t be afraid to encourage physical contact. Furthermore, as we age it can take longer to become aroused, so extend and enjoy some foreplay. Invite romance into your evenings and try connecting first with extensive touching before sexual intercourse.
Ask For Help
If you feel that you could benefit from some further guidance and support regarding intimacy with age, speaking with a therapist could work for you. Having someone to mediate emotional conversations, or to discuss uncomfortable ideas can ultimately facilitate intimacy growth. Thomas Rea, a certified sex therapist, has dedicated his career to helping individuals and couples better understand themselves and their complex human sexuality. For more information, or to request a consultation visit my website.
