Self-soothing activities are actions you take to calm, comfort and care for yourself. The main idea behind self-soothing activities is to train yourself to self-soothe any time that you are in emotional or physical distress, and not rely on someone else to mediate these feelings. If you often find yourself in moments of distress and you cannot rely on your partner to console you, we recommend keeping an easily accessible list of self-soothing techniques in your phone to help in these frantic moments. Continue reading on in Self-Soothing Techniques Without Relying on a Partner to see some of our recommendations for self-soothing practices.
Why is Self-Soothing Important?
Even in the most committed relationships, we cannot always rely on our partners to make us feel better, and it’s also important to remember that they may also not be in the right mental capacity to take on your stress. Rather than dumping onto your partner or completely shutting them out from your emotions, self-soothing helps individuals learn how to deal with what they are feeling first alone, without exploding at their partners. Stonewalling is a common issue many see in relationships where one partner essentially shuts out completely from the conversation because they are overwhelmed. Self-soothing is necessary in these situations and a great way for partners to avoid unhealthy communication and potential arguments.
How to Practice Self-Soothing
There are many forms of self-soothing, and no one is better than the other. Find what works best for you and your emotions, trying different techniques until it feels right.
- Get your body moving – research shows exercise can be just as effective as antidepressants, whether it’s going for a walk or joining a local spin class, try getting your body moving!
- Listen to calming music – unwind by listening to calming music, whatever that is to you. It will relax the overloaded nervous system
- Practice meditation – meditation is one of the best self-soothing techniques, active breathing exercises help to calm the body from both physical and emotional pain
- Take a yoga class, or try it at home! Similarly to meditation, but more physically involved, relax and relief your body of tensions
- Keep a journal – keeping a journal can not only help you release feelings of anxiety and depression, but also help you better understand yourself and your patterns
Thomas Rea Therapy
If you are having a hard time depending on your partner or they are not in the place to be helpful to you, consider therapy to develop self-soothing techniques and find a space to talk about these feelings. Thomas Rea is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker specializing in sex and relationship therapy. He has over 15 years of experience providing individual and relationship psychotherapy and clinical case management services and can help you get back on track. To learn more or book an appointment, click HERE.
